i get so lonely *

ugh, being lonely totally sucks ass like seriously. i can't stand not being by myself for a long period of time. it's just not me.

so it's been a couple of weeks since i had any contact with a dude and i feel like i'm going into withdrawal. no kisses, no hugs, no sex= me having the shakes! lol i'm not use to this and i really need to find me a cuddle buddy like really fast. honestly, i'm hoping that charles will come around, but it doesn't look like that's gonna happen anytime soon.

The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved. Mother Teresa said it right with this quote. i just feel so unloved right now. i feel like i'm not desirable and i feel ugly. i just can't stand not having someone showing me some type of affection.

BEE once told me the reason why i seek affection is because of the fact that my father was never there for me and i never got that affection i needed from him. i don't know if that's true or not, but i do feel he does play a role in how i view relationships. how can i trust any man when i know they might up and leave me?? i just choose to hurt them before they hurt me.

but back to me being lonely, i gotta get over this. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE KEEP ME COMPANY?!