Thursday, January 7, 2010

what a girl wants *

what do i want when it comes to a relationship? 

i know i want a guy that is there for me and loves me unconditionally, but i still wanna be able to explore and play the field too. i love my BEE with all my heart, but i can not hide the fact that i want to flirt and talk to other dudes too.

i really think if he was in houston with me, i wouldn't have all the problems that i deal with on a daily basis. i need affection all the time and i hate to be lonely. honestly, i love how i feel during sex. i love everything about it: the foreplay, the teasing, the intercourse; i just love everything about it. with BEE not being there, i get these urges that do not go away on their own. they HAVE TO BE FULFILLED.

i've never been faithful in any of my long term relationships. i cheated on my first boyfriend willie, my other boyfriend anthony, and on BEE now. it's not that i didn't or don't love them, it's just i love flirting and i love taking it to that next level. i want to stay faithful, but when those urges come, it's impossible for me.

maybe i should be single, work on myself and then finally become seriously commited to the one i love. but what if he's not there when i'm done? it would hurt so much to lose binaca at this point in my life. he's literally my half, he keeps me sane at times. we're a total match, we scarily have so much in common. i couldn't bare losing him...

what does this girl want?

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